on the floor
pale blue lips
her lungs threatened
I watch you sleep,
Your breaths shallow and deep,
And you don't know it yet,
That my mind swirls with instant regrets.
I can't bear to see you go,
For you will, eventually, I know,
And if I were to fall and bleed,
Only you would know how to fix me.
If I were to be lost with doubt,
Only you could seek me out,
And fix these broken parts,
And seam my breaking heart.
Without you things seem in a haze,
And some say it is merely a phase,
But if I were to forget whom I was,
Only you could find a cause.
A reason to be here today,
A permanent reason to stay.
And as the hungry fire consumes us all,
I press myself against this wall,
And know that if I were to break,
The pieces of my heart I'd let you take.
Its all I can hear,
All I can bear,
This mind that only ponders,
If I were to forget my place,
Seal myself inside a case,
I would want you to save me,
Because without you, things are hazy.
The Lying GameHave you ever felt love
so divine yet unreal
so beautiful yet forbidden
so unwanted yet sealed?
Have you ever clicked with someone
you never thought to see
in such a divine way
they made your heart fill with glee?
Is it so much to ask
to want to hold someone's hand
yet still they hide from you
and you run at their demand?
Is it to much to want
them to see you in the same light
to fill the hole in your heart
and the empty space in your night?
To wrap them in your arms
and never let them go
and yet here you love them
and they don't even know.
Half hidden love
is quite a shame
yet the fault is the one
who plays the Lying Game.
-9:07 pm, 4/21/13
The Happiest MiseryThe happiest hours of life
Are the early hours of the morning
When one might wake in a sleep haze
Without the identity of their society upon them.
~8:59 pm, 2/9/13
Something to end the misery
Of watching this glorious march
Through gray and endless days.
~9:00 pm, 2/9/13
me a story
of a past
~9:02 pm, 2/9/13
Coffin of GlassI heard you settled down
In a valley in the forest
With your little forest friends
Remaining loyal as you weep.
You remind me of a tale
One I like to call Snow White
Slowly fading to eternity
In a coffin made of glass.
Drowning HerselfShe was drowning
of iridescent pain
around her neck
gulping in air
upon the surface
Whispers in the Darklittle whispers in the dark
in the early hours
of the morning
in the dark.
~8:48 pm, 2/9/13
Wars and PeopleI've got a war in my mind
Yes some might say its true
All I know from this point on
Is the war started off with you.
~8:35 pm, 2/9/13
Who are you?
Are you the shadows
that follow me?
Are you the copy
that teases me?
Are you the dreams
upon my eyelids?
Are you the demon
that taunts my night?
Are you my hope
of the day's tomorrow?
Are you a bird,
without wings to fly?
Who are you?
It seems I've forgotten
your name and your address
So why waste my time
On the worries in my head
When it makes me lay awake
On my very bed.
~8:43 pm, 2/9/13
MonstersWatching my own insanity
From the tip top of my head
For the monsters that I've known for years
Are no longer under the bed.
They came for me long ago,
Moved straight to my head
To watch my skin now bruised and blue
Oh, they watched it as it bled.
InsanityI have a box full of wishes
Most of them about you
I hope that a may see a star
To make them all come true.
~8:22 pm, 2/9/13
In my closet is a skeleton
Its boney and its pale
Its dusty and red
From where it bled,
In that most peculiar tale.
Yes it is peculiar,
But it is also true,
Right down to the wishing bones
Where I may have wished for you.
~8:25 pm, 2/9/13
My room expresses who I am
In its truest form
An everchanging insanity
To whoms secrets I have sworn.
~8:28 pm, 2/9/13
School, Tests, and All The RestI'm not smart enough for this.
I have no answer for this question.
The more I search my brain,
The more I feel inadequate.
I cannot fathom the correct answer.
Didn't I study this for hours?
Why is your intellect based
On such trivial things?
Apparently, I am not as smart as I thought.
Why don't I know what to write?
This test is a nightmare.
Why can't I get this right?
The only thing about me I was proud of
Has now vanished
Because my textbook knowledge
Wasn't up to par.
Letters to all the people I have kissedi. Rob
I expected a knight in shining armour but you were
just a boy, just a boy.
you flirted and you teased and you kissed me
at midnight on new year’s eve and set the tone
for that whole god-forsaken year.
I could taste lies on your tongue and doubt in your fingers;
you said you were a taurus but you were gemini all over.
friends shouldn’t kiss in the kitchen and
friends shouldn’t drink gin together and
friends shouldn’t cry, drunk on misery, and
friends shouldn’t break another friend’s heart and
I’m still sorry.
I expected just a boy but you were
a knight in shining armour, silver to the pretty
ivory teeth, who was looking for a damsel and found
only don quixote, tilting at windmills and refusing
to be saved.
we were drunk and you were more beautiful
under the harsh car park lights than I had noticed before
and you were mid-sentence and I was mid-hiccup and
we still laugh about it now.
I was imperfect.
I was the lie.
I was not honest.
For I am sorrow.
I'm not worth it.
There's no tomorrow.
Why didn't anyone listen?
Why didn't anyone see?
I am just a mirror
of what's to be!
I am empty.
I am gone!
I am nothingness.
I'm a fraud!
So please forgive me...
because I'm needy...
and you don't need me:
you need no one.
Dear MeDear me, I know we've had disagreements
And that we don't always see eye to eye,
But the last thing I want for you
Is to feel like you have to say goodbye.
Dear me, I know you've been hurting a while
And I know that you're sick of the misery,
But just keep holding on a day at a time
And someday you'll find yourself set free.
Dear me, I know you've been crying.
I've seen your demons give chase.
Smile instead for things will get better.
Wipe those tears off your pretty face.
Dear me, I know your heart is breaking,
Like your being is shattered in two,
But please, don't give up just yet.
The survival rate is too few.
Dear me, I see that you're struggling,
That you feel like you're on the brink.
But keep pushing forward, keep fighting.
You're much stronger than you think.
Dear me, I feel so proud of you.
You've made it out alive.
You're happy now with all you've gained.
You've reached all for which you did strive.
Broken Dreams"Go ahead, dream big," they liked to tell you.
"Send your hopes up to the sky."
They told you that whatever you believed in,
Those happy thoughts in the back of your brain,
It could all be true if only you believed.
That's all they said you needed to do, right?
To believe it was possible?
Sure, there were also mentions of hard work,
Mentions of putting in effort.
But every time, you were told to believe.
And you believed with all your heart.
Your dreams were larger than the earth itself
Stretching and growing far out of ordinary grasp.
And you worked hard too.
You wanted that dream more than anything.
You longed for the happy future it offered.
But there's a problem with large dreams.
You see, the bigger your dreams are,
And the more time and effort you invest in them,
The more it hurts when it all comes crashing down.
HopeWhen no one else ever seemed to notice me,
You were the first to say "hello".
And you did so with beaming joy.
When I felt so outcast and alone from the world,
You were the one who sat by my side.
And listened with an open heart.
When no one else would acknowledge my very existence,
You were the one to reach out and bare your soul to me.
And you made me feel like somebody.
When I thought of so many reasons to die...
You became my reason to live...
And I will never forget that.
Friendship DeterminedShe felt the pain of a thousand deaths.
Things would never again be the same.
Alone, bereft - with no one to stop her hurt -
Yielding to the need to curl in on herself,
Wallowing in pain, she crumbled.
Internal bleeding that could never be healed
Tore her soul into a million pieces.
Heart aching and refusing to beat,
Maddening agony crippling her mind,
Encompassing her whole being.
Abandoned was how he found her then.
Lacing his arms around her fragile form,
Wrapping her in the blanket of his love.
Acknowledging her need to purge the pain within,
Years of false truths finally coming to light,
Shushing her wails, he held her tightly.
The futurethe path widens
toward something unknown
a nervousness follows
a curiosity takes over
and we run to embrace the future
Soldier BoyOne day he came home,
A man given freedom.
He looked in the mirror,
And liked what he saw...
The days wore on,
And he lived his life.
Morning PT was a distant memory,
So too were the shouts of a Sergeant.
Training came thrice at first,
Then twice, then once,
The days wore on...
And life became harder,
Sacrifices were made.
He looked in the mirror one day,
And didn't like what he saw.
Not the pot-bellied man working for a few scraps.
Nor the slovenly fellow who'd forgotten how to clean his kit.
He earned his freedom, but he had lost what he respected...
And the days wore on...
And so he went out running, one fateful day,
His lungs burning with every breath.
Yet despite the pain inside his chest,
He resolved the soldier, would return to his best.
"You've been gone a long time Corporal Chen, what say we go once more around
-Word of Chen, One-shot, 24 February